This episode of Sacred Tension is a cross-over with The Deep Dive podcast with Shawn C. Fettig. Shawn interviews me about my experience growing up as a deeply religious gay person, my thoughts on group solidarity vs. individual autonomy, and whether religion offers anything positive to society.
i really enjoyed listening to this conversation, it’s always nice when people can discuss “heavy” topics in an open and conversational way. It was obvious you were both really listening and hearing each other’s perspectives, trying to understand where you both were coming from... finding common ground on shared experiences yet opposite reactions (especially in relation to your approaches to religion.) great episode! 🩷
Also when you talk about removing the idea of your sexuality identity being your main focus. This reminds me of Mr. Palahniuk's writer's tip. He says "The fastest way to trivialize something is to sexualize it." I think that writer's tip is also a great life tip.
I love your point on wasted time and wasted energy. So much lost time for me trying to figure out who I was. As a female I was always told "Get married to a nice man, have babies and get a house." This ideal was not fitting. It took a drug addiction, death and then finding a great teacher, Mr. Palahniuk, for me to realize who I am. When you're told your whole life that you are not worth anyone's time and are worthless then find a new teacher and get reappraised. Finding a new teacher changed my life.
These thoughts take me to my childhood memories. My parents were heroin addicts and did not go to church. My grandparents were deeply religious and I was pretty much raised by both of them. Although my parents were not exactly great, I will always remember my mother's nonchalant acceptance of her gay friends in the face 1980s prejudice. I was pulled and pushed between two ideologies and world views every week when being passed between my grandparents and parents.
At 7 years old I sat in a church while the preacher went on a tirade about his gay son and how "The Gays" are going to hell. Even at 7 years old I was horrified. What he was saying was wrong. When people have pure hatred of the gay community I often wonder why. I think it's probably repression of their own sexuality and so they make it everyone else's problem.
I really enjoy the point of deciding where you were going to draw the line on who/what you considered threatening. Since I've learned to write in the last couple of years, I've really found my voice I've gone the other direction. I think I inherited a "writer's temper" which was probably always there bubbling under the surface my whole life. I'm tired of being a quiet little thing that constantly says "That's Ok. Call me whatever you want."
I no longer take blatant disrespect or anything that approaches it and if anyone even attempts to tell me and my writing needs to calm down I unleash ungodly amounts of word-venom until they are telling me: "Yes. Maam." "I didn't mean it like that." and "I'm sorry, Maam."
To add onto this...After finding my worth I realize I am furious and I do not have to apologize for this fact as long as I direct my fury in the correct way without abusing it.
After work I ate a chicken sandwich that was accidentally left by DoorDash and it made me super tired and I passed out at 7pm. I will listen today! It sounds so enticing!
i really enjoyed listening to this conversation, it’s always nice when people can discuss “heavy” topics in an open and conversational way. It was obvious you were both really listening and hearing each other’s perspectives, trying to understand where you both were coming from... finding common ground on shared experiences yet opposite reactions (especially in relation to your approaches to religion.) great episode! 🩷
Religion is everywhere. I unfortunately found my religion when I became an addict and now ex-addict.
Also when you talk about removing the idea of your sexuality identity being your main focus. This reminds me of Mr. Palahniuk's writer's tip. He says "The fastest way to trivialize something is to sexualize it." I think that writer's tip is also a great life tip.
I love your point on wasted time and wasted energy. So much lost time for me trying to figure out who I was. As a female I was always told "Get married to a nice man, have babies and get a house." This ideal was not fitting. It took a drug addiction, death and then finding a great teacher, Mr. Palahniuk, for me to realize who I am. When you're told your whole life that you are not worth anyone's time and are worthless then find a new teacher and get reappraised. Finding a new teacher changed my life.
These thoughts take me to my childhood memories. My parents were heroin addicts and did not go to church. My grandparents were deeply religious and I was pretty much raised by both of them. Although my parents were not exactly great, I will always remember my mother's nonchalant acceptance of her gay friends in the face 1980s prejudice. I was pulled and pushed between two ideologies and world views every week when being passed between my grandparents and parents.
At 7 years old I sat in a church while the preacher went on a tirade about his gay son and how "The Gays" are going to hell. Even at 7 years old I was horrified. What he was saying was wrong. When people have pure hatred of the gay community I often wonder why. I think it's probably repression of their own sexuality and so they make it everyone else's problem.
I really enjoy the point of deciding where you were going to draw the line on who/what you considered threatening. Since I've learned to write in the last couple of years, I've really found my voice I've gone the other direction. I think I inherited a "writer's temper" which was probably always there bubbling under the surface my whole life. I'm tired of being a quiet little thing that constantly says "That's Ok. Call me whatever you want."
I no longer take blatant disrespect or anything that approaches it and if anyone even attempts to tell me and my writing needs to calm down I unleash ungodly amounts of word-venom until they are telling me: "Yes. Maam." "I didn't mean it like that." and "I'm sorry, Maam."
To add onto this...After finding my worth I realize I am furious and I do not have to apologize for this fact as long as I direct my fury in the correct way without abusing it.
Can't wait listen once I'm off work.
Hope you enjoyed!
After work I ate a chicken sandwich that was accidentally left by DoorDash and it made me super tired and I passed out at 7pm. I will listen today! It sounds so enticing!
Surprise sleepy chicken sandwich sounds better honestly. Let me know your thoughts when you do listen!
Oh of course!