This was a wonderful read and hearing about your struggles hurts my heart but it is greatly appreciated. This piece reminds me that those terrible moments in life are when I really found a part of me I didn't even know was there (good & bad) and it's extremely important to find ways to grow constructively from those moments. I can either grow or the past will destroy my present life. Either way, I really got to know who I am and what I do with that is up to me.
The horrible and degrading years of addiction I went through were almost like a crazy gift in a way because I got to see a part of myself I would never have seen (which was sometimes terrifying lol). Heroin nearly buried me but the desperation to find another way in life helped me grow in ways I'd never dreamed of. Thank you so much for this piece! I will be thinking about this piece for quite a while.
Very moving post! Thank you for writing this. You describe the dichotomy of control really well, and I also appreciate that you examine how to overcome potential pitfalls and misunderstandings. I agree with you that amor fati is not passive at all--it's more about acquiring a deeper understanding of the underlying and unchangeable truths about the world. As Epictetus used to say, some people merely talk about philosophy , but you are actually demonstrating what philosophy looks like in your own life. Thanks for the inspiration. I look forward to seeing more.
I really appreciate your balanced treatment of the topic here. Religious or self-help works that preach equanimity sometimes make me feel that they neglect the pitfalls of depression and passivity. It sounds like you are saying, instead, that actually the only way to take effective action is to set aside wishful thinking about things being otherwise.
Your post reminded me of facing my mortality during COVID in 2020. It gave me a weird sort of courage, because at the back of my mind, I had the common illusion that I could/should be able to protect myself no matter what. When that was obviously not true, I could live less defensively and take risks to be more true to myself.
But what if Equanimity is the basis of true sanity and the necessary platform for growth into the higher stages of both psycho-physical growth and transcendence too.
I like this quote from the article at your link, about freedom from thought patterns "that cause one always to seek the Truth rather than presently surrender to the obvious Truth". Something to notice as I move through my day!
Acceptance is the beginning of action. More clearly and specifically, the beginning of substantive and meaningful action.
Acceptance is the understanding of limitations. Acceptance lies in the understanding that you feel certain ways about certain things (which is, if you are pursuing virtue, is a direction sign), but that the feelings are not action, not accomplishing anything substantive.
Without acceptance and understanding, substantive and meaningful action is more often an accident than not.
It is necessary to accept and move forward clearly and meaningfully, undeterred by the feelings, unclouded by the feelings, working in the realm of the possible within the limitations (or finding way, in the company of others, to get around those limitations).
I’ve found at the root of my greatest struggles is always lack of acceptance. The passions of despair (which is not the same as depression but a lack of acceptance and self pity) and anger (thwarted desire.usually) again are lack of acceptance. Whether it’s Nature / fate or providence, pragmatically I have not free will less I accept what is.
I appreciate that. It is indeed a lot. Importantly, there are people who have suffered a great deal more than me, and my experiences help me empathize more deeply with them.
Man you had a rough go of it. I was raised as a pretty cultish fundamental baptist, I can’t imagine going through those additional psychological struggles in addition to the ones endemic to the religion. I’m glad you made it through man. I’m incredibly impressed by your writing, and I’ve quickly come to look up to your work. I know you still have struggles, but know at least that this one random dude on the internet (me) really values your perspective and wants you to stick around.
Thank you for sharing this! I went through my own period of learning to accept between 2016 and 2022-ish. Those were some bleak years, but I learned a lot. I know what you mean when you say that some people react badly to seeing other people find peace in acceptance, even when they stay active and engaged. I wonder if they worry that if they don't see people emotionally reacting in a big way then maybe they're just paying lip service. I try to reassure people when I can, but that can become a whole extra job by itself. Sometimes I have to save that energy for what actually matters. Acceptance allows me to channel more of my energy into planning and action so I don't squander it on just feeling and reacting.
This was a wonderful read and hearing about your struggles hurts my heart but it is greatly appreciated. This piece reminds me that those terrible moments in life are when I really found a part of me I didn't even know was there (good & bad) and it's extremely important to find ways to grow constructively from those moments. I can either grow or the past will destroy my present life. Either way, I really got to know who I am and what I do with that is up to me.
The horrible and degrading years of addiction I went through were almost like a crazy gift in a way because I got to see a part of myself I would never have seen (which was sometimes terrifying lol). Heroin nearly buried me but the desperation to find another way in life helped me grow in ways I'd never dreamed of. Thank you so much for this piece! I will be thinking about this piece for quite a while.
I'm so glad the piece connected, and thank you for sharing
Very moving post! Thank you for writing this. You describe the dichotomy of control really well, and I also appreciate that you examine how to overcome potential pitfalls and misunderstandings. I agree with you that amor fati is not passive at all--it's more about acquiring a deeper understanding of the underlying and unchangeable truths about the world. As Epictetus used to say, some people merely talk about philosophy , but you are actually demonstrating what philosophy looks like in your own life. Thanks for the inspiration. I look forward to seeing more.
Thank you so much for reading, and I'm so glad you think my summary of the Dichotomy is accurate!
Oxford English Dictionary.
Got it!
I really appreciate your balanced treatment of the topic here. Religious or self-help works that preach equanimity sometimes make me feel that they neglect the pitfalls of depression and passivity. It sounds like you are saying, instead, that actually the only way to take effective action is to set aside wishful thinking about things being otherwise.
That is exactly right ❤️
Your post reminded me of facing my mortality during COVID in 2020. It gave me a weird sort of courage, because at the back of my mind, I had the common illusion that I could/should be able to protect myself no matter what. When that was obviously not true, I could live less defensively and take risks to be more true to myself.
Yes — I had a similar experience during COVID. Thank you so much for sharing.
But what if Equanimity is the basis of true sanity and the necessary platform for growth into the higher stages of both psycho-physical growth and transcendence too.
http://beezone.com/latest/sila_equnimity-1.html
I like this quote from the article at your link, about freedom from thought patterns "that cause one always to seek the Truth rather than presently surrender to the obvious Truth". Something to notice as I move through my day!
You wrote what the key to all of this is:
Acceptance is the beginning of action. More clearly and specifically, the beginning of substantive and meaningful action.
Acceptance is the understanding of limitations. Acceptance lies in the understanding that you feel certain ways about certain things (which is, if you are pursuing virtue, is a direction sign), but that the feelings are not action, not accomplishing anything substantive.
Without acceptance and understanding, substantive and meaningful action is more often an accident than not.
It is necessary to accept and move forward clearly and meaningfully, undeterred by the feelings, unclouded by the feelings, working in the realm of the possible within the limitations (or finding way, in the company of others, to get around those limitations).
exactly right
Exceptional read. Thank you.
Thank you, friend <3
I liked this, yes somethings are out of control. There's a sense of relief gained by realising this
Thanks for reading!
Thank you for this.
Thank you for reading
I’ve found at the root of my greatest struggles is always lack of acceptance. The passions of despair (which is not the same as depression but a lack of acceptance and self pity) and anger (thwarted desire.usually) again are lack of acceptance. Whether it’s Nature / fate or providence, pragmatically I have not free will less I accept what is.
Exactly. Me too. And realizing this is revelatory.
I'm sorry all these things have happened to, with, and within you. It's a lot.
I appreciate that. It is indeed a lot. Importantly, there are people who have suffered a great deal more than me, and my experiences help me empathize more deeply with them.
Man you had a rough go of it. I was raised as a pretty cultish fundamental baptist, I can’t imagine going through those additional psychological struggles in addition to the ones endemic to the religion. I’m glad you made it through man. I’m incredibly impressed by your writing, and I’ve quickly come to look up to your work. I know you still have struggles, but know at least that this one random dude on the internet (me) really values your perspective and wants you to stick around.
Thanks man, I really appreciate that. It’s so good to know my work is helpful.
The key to acceptance, for me, is it does not require that I like what I am accepting. Sub-definition from the OED:
Willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation.
And, as you write, acceptance is the beginning, not the end.
Exactly this ❤️
What does “OED” mean?
Thank you so very much for opening this door
Thank you for reading, friend ❤️
Thank you for sharing this! I went through my own period of learning to accept between 2016 and 2022-ish. Those were some bleak years, but I learned a lot. I know what you mean when you say that some people react badly to seeing other people find peace in acceptance, even when they stay active and engaged. I wonder if they worry that if they don't see people emotionally reacting in a big way then maybe they're just paying lip service. I try to reassure people when I can, but that can become a whole extra job by itself. Sometimes I have to save that energy for what actually matters. Acceptance allows me to channel more of my energy into planning and action so I don't squander it on just feeling and reacting.