So well-written and articulated. There are so many things in here I deeply relate to, but most of all, I just want to 1,000% echo the notion of how much relief comes from having a word for something that you've been struggling with for so long and in such a state of complexity. And yes, masculinity was a component of that complexity for me as well. Before my diagnosis, I felt it was easier for me to default to thinking along the lines of "I just need to tough this out" or "Everyone has problems and if I can't deal with mine on my own then I'm just weak." So, with the diagnosis, maybe there was some kind of silly hyper-masculine feeling that my desire to be "tough" was validated and that seeking out help would not invalidate that. Some expert looked at me and said, "You have this thing that is known to myself and other professionals in my field to be very challenging to live with." And that was enough for me to let out a sigh and think, "Ok, I can stop trying so hard to prove to myself how tough I am. I have a badge of honor now that will say it for me." The mental gymnastics of the rabbit brain 😂
Anyway, thanks for writing - this was a really great read!
This was both heartbreaking and uplifting. I can freely talk about a great deal of my personal life with strangers. When it comes to suffering, I find it difficult to express it to others. I am grateful when someone else can. Thank you for allowing us to share in your struggles. Hopefully in the sharing, you feel we all help to carry the weight.
My best friend was recently diagnosed with the same condition. Like you, he is an extraordinarily talented person, and although part of me wants to review the last 20 years of friendship in light of the diagnosis, I can't bring myself to do that, since to me my friend can only be what he's always been, which is himself. Thank you for writing this and helping to educate us.
Thanks so much for sharing. It’s been heartening to hear the response to my diagnosis - a lot of people telling me they have seen it first hand. There are a lot of us. Give my best to your friend.
Wow, thanks for the honesty
Thanks for reading
So well-written and articulated. There are so many things in here I deeply relate to, but most of all, I just want to 1,000% echo the notion of how much relief comes from having a word for something that you've been struggling with for so long and in such a state of complexity. And yes, masculinity was a component of that complexity for me as well. Before my diagnosis, I felt it was easier for me to default to thinking along the lines of "I just need to tough this out" or "Everyone has problems and if I can't deal with mine on my own then I'm just weak." So, with the diagnosis, maybe there was some kind of silly hyper-masculine feeling that my desire to be "tough" was validated and that seeking out help would not invalidate that. Some expert looked at me and said, "You have this thing that is known to myself and other professionals in my field to be very challenging to live with." And that was enough for me to let out a sigh and think, "Ok, I can stop trying so hard to prove to myself how tough I am. I have a badge of honor now that will say it for me." The mental gymnastics of the rabbit brain 😂
Anyway, thanks for writing - this was a really great read!
100%
thanks for reading, man. I feel like you’re some kind of long lost bipolar brother lol.
Hahaha, any time, brother!
This was both heartbreaking and uplifting. I can freely talk about a great deal of my personal life with strangers. When it comes to suffering, I find it difficult to express it to others. I am grateful when someone else can. Thank you for allowing us to share in your struggles. Hopefully in the sharing, you feel we all help to carry the weight.
Thank you so much for reading ❤️
Thank you, Stephen. Your courage and authenticity give hope to more people, and in more ways, than you know.
❤️❤️❤️
Brave, true, yet also painful. I can only wish that you be at peace.
Thank you ❤️
My best friend was recently diagnosed with the same condition. Like you, he is an extraordinarily talented person, and although part of me wants to review the last 20 years of friendship in light of the diagnosis, I can't bring myself to do that, since to me my friend can only be what he's always been, which is himself. Thank you for writing this and helping to educate us.
Thanks so much for sharing. It’s been heartening to hear the response to my diagnosis - a lot of people telling me they have seen it first hand. There are a lot of us. Give my best to your friend.
Hail you and all that you do! Thank you for constantly being a rock despite all these tribulations. You are a wonderful man and a real cutie-pie!
Thank you friend <3
Thank you friend ❤️